IN WHY SEE? WILDCARD!

7 letters…

N E W Y O R K

i’ve been looking to find the words to describe my trip to NYC. this was my first trip there and i knew before i arrived – i wouldn’t see half of it. (much less a slither of what it offers) there’s so much HISTORY – so much i presumptively imagined MYSTERY, would be hard to find. this couldn’t be further from reality; as i still long, to unlock the gritty sensation that makes up this BIG CITY! 

for starters: IT’S AN ISLAND! surrounded by water. as my plane landed – i couldn’t help but marvel at all of the water this metropolis is engulfed by. many have spoken about the skyscrapers, lights, subways, people and RATS! (shout out to the whale like rat which ran in front of me and my friend!) if i could try to describe this elemental sensation of feeling, it would be in a series of acronyms. all of them representing each selection and detail of the here, now, and soon. 

most of the time when you tell people you’re going to NYC – people wanna know WHY?! you’re repetitively reminded of how EXPENSIVE IT IS! (& that’s not a lie) how it’s dirty. The Pickpocketing! how it’s being GENTRIFIED (which is absolutely the case) and many other crucial aspects to consider when traveling there or much less – if you wish to live there. What seems to be the case is that the NYC of today is nothing like it use to be. i considered all of this into focus before traveling. i didn’t want any surprises but at the same time, i expected this experience to completely invigorate my prospects….AND THAT IT DID.

i didn’t nearly see as much as i wanted but i did get to meet and spend time with some of my favorite people. as a content creator, i’ve been blessed to meet people from all over the world. many of which connect to me via my youtube videos, blog posts, and other related media i’ve made throughout the years. i barely make the ‘000’s threshold. despite this, somebody somewhere saw whatever it was. reached out. conversation was had and the lost was then FOUND. thank you all for following along! ❤

like a recipe to a delicious meal – you can count on faithful mesmerization. you know it’s gonna be good when you register with the ingredients. (POPEYES CHICKEN SANDWICH MAKE NOISE!) Sam took this quick video as I bit into the goodness. 😀

with anxiousness leading into me the next – i am sitting at the table with various cards – one of which is a…IMG_7490

SOMETHING ABSOLUTELY INSANE. (IN THE MEMBRANE) INSANE IN THE BRAIN~! i feel we are at the cusp of a significant eclipse. We are always at the dawn of something. i’ve been asking people lately, if you could name this chapter in your life, what would suffice? 

MANY words may come to mind or maybe none at all? we are in this wrestle of noise and silence and we are guided by either the impulse to remain or shatter some dishes. 

the awareness of seasonal depression is one that knocks loudly when you feel november walking hands with gusty winds. if not provided a temporary temple against such typhoons – the measure of your outfit is better laced DECKED with layers, scarfs, beanies, gloves, AND ALL DAT! The seasons do indeed change and so must our attitude around the acceptance of this fact.

*SELAH*

All of us are dealing with a lot at the moment. we’re all spinning in this life thing // trying to figure it out. traveling can help expand your perception about how small the bubble often is around us. we can always go DEEPER and HARDER (of course that comes with the upkeep of such energy) the world is not simple to understand, though complex, there is the ability to search. 

if we do not take such leaps and risks, we often fall prey to the usual command of the cycle. i am identifying with the ways i have become stagnant. (the lounge chair and all) it’s very easy for all of us to do. especially when your approach to life is sort of like the wind. there will always remain rules in the universe but the wise one knows when to break them or to reimagine them, in ways which best serves the situation. 

So many thunderstorms lay hostage in my mind and i’m only now breaking them free.(writing down thunderstorms means knowing also which eye of the storm is worth the explanation.) as I gaze out the window of my solitude – i find strength in writing down miscellaneous items that should be fulfilled.

whether, we are praying or actually writing a list down  – a request for improved outcomes is never dire. it can be very hard and challenging to look and examine our failures because it then creates a space of introspection. AND WHO WANTS TO SEE IN FULL FORCE A REFLECTION OF RANDOMIZED REALITY?

*Ever take a photo of yourself on accident only to find out how you really look at random seconds* 

headass
headass

NYC revealed to me that everyday can be a wildcard. every moment is a choice to imagine and fulfill. the scratch continues to inform the reason – what is the source of this irritation? can we be tongue tied with reason and delusional thinking all at once? What better pathway to clarity than a series of questions and guesses?

i’m finding my voice while still lounging in a marshmallow chair. The fight to keep it going and to just let things fall as they go is a CONSTANT BATTLE. when you see how things are // how they can be // how they were // how they feel now – the rabbit hole continues…

faded shades of multi-colored attempts and possibilities that never made it down the runway. clothes just hanging in the closet waiting to be worn for the right occasion. yet, the occasion never comes because you are waiting for it instead of just stepping into the wildcard.

here is where it gets even more challenging – the reality of failure can cause extreme lost.

but now i’m at a point where i crave deduction. i believe somethings should be lost and exempt. when examining everything we receive on the constant bases – sure some things would benefit being off the menu. By losing, we are gaining the space to acquire more. carrying too much means losing the energy to do anything with what you got.

i know now that my ramble has opened a different scene – I have escaped in a place I like to deem the random collisions of thought. (mental craze!) i am in a visible crossroads. a place where colors and shapes have had more voice than literal words. only now, these words must come to life and find motion in the physical.

imagination gives birth to ever changing scenarios. additions and deductions are a part of the cycle – the words continue and the pen never runs out.

READY OR NOT = it is coming. i don’t know what ‘IT’ may be to you but it’s coming. a confirming realization that speaks with no words only silent affirmation. like a head nodding to a beat that’s beating on the 2n4. it’s closer – by saying yes to the wildcard of selection. we are placed in a position to connect with the variations of outcome and proceed accordingly.

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